


Angel in the Snow

by sighclops



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-15
Updated: 2018-02-15
Packaged: 2019-03-18 20:47:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,116
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13689498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sighclops/pseuds/sighclops
Summary: AU. Jyn and Cassian promised they wouldn't give each other anything for Valentine's Day.--This private world is for them alone, and this is it: an old wooden house in the woods with just them, their dog, and their love to fill it. This is it: the sheer curtains in the kitchen, the lamp that hangs in the entry and flickers each time they shut the door. This is it: that distant sound of the ocean that Cassian swears he hears in the silence of the night, when the world turns dark blue and Jyn becomes shapeless to his eyes but alive in his hands.This is it: Cassian married the girl he loves most in this world.





	Angel in the Snow

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TinCanTelephone](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TinCanTelephone/gifts).



> This is written for the dear and wonderful [cats-and-metersticks](https://cats-and-metersticks.tumblr.com/) (aka TinCanTelephone!). I think I speak for a lot of people when I say that you are such an encouraging friend in this fandom, and I'm forever grateful for you.

Cassian’s truck always makes the same sound rolling over the gravel road.

Their house sits at the end of a dead-end street, surrounded by pine trees that stand tall and still, and catch the mist in their branches. Cassian swears he can hear the distant crashing of the sea from here, but Jyn tells him it’s just a daydream. He hears it now, though, as he shrugs his coat a little tighter around him and walks up the front steps.

There is, however, one sound he’s sure of: Sadie barking by the front door.

“Hi girl,” he says, stepping around her. His hand brushes over her reddish brown fur, scratching at the softness of her ear. She came into their lives when Jyn and Leia found her as a puppy, cold and abandoned behind her workplace. Jyn took her home to make sure she had something to eat and a warm place to stay, and she hasn’t left them since.

It’s a simple life that they’ve built here, sweet and uncomplicated.

“I thought we agreed on no gifts,” Jyn says, and he looks up to see her standing at the bottom of the stairs, obviously eyeing his hand held behind his back. She lifts a brow when he meets her gaze, and that’s when he knows he’s really home.

“I didn’t,” he defends, drawing closer to her. He steps into her space, but since she’s standing on the last stair, she’s a couple of inches taller than him. He looks up into her eyes, and they’re such a warm green, such a good place to be...

“What is it that you’ve got, then?” she asks, trying to peek over her shoulder, but he steps even closer to her. She eases back, meeting him there and resting her forehead against his. “Not fair.”

“Kiss me first,” he asks.

“Now why would I go and do a thing like that?”

He grins. “Because I missed you, Jyn. I thought about you all day--I might die if you don’t kiss me soon.”

Her laugh fills the space between them, just soft exhales around the silliness that they find here together. This private world is for them alone, and this is it: an old wooden house in the woods with just them, their dog, and their love to fill it. This is it: the sheer curtains in the kitchen, the lamp that hangs in the entry and flickers each time they shut the door. This is it: that distant sound of the ocean that Cassian swears he hears in the silence of the night, when the world turns dark blue and Jyn becomes shapeless to his eyes but alive in his hands.

This is it: Cassian married the girl he loves most in this world.

And she leans in just a little closer, just to close the gap between their lips and press hers against his. His eyes fall shut and he’ll never get used to it, he’ll never understand how he gets to come home to her every day.

“To save your life,” she explains when she pulls back. “Now show me what you’ve got.”

He smiles, stepping back, nearly tripping over Sadie, and pulls the bottle in front of him, making sure the label is presented for her.

Her eyes clearly scan it, reading it and taking in the information, but she doesn’t have much of a reaction. Her head turns a little to her right, her eyes blinking once before looking up at him. A small smile finds its way onto her features but doesn’t give anything away.

To be honest, he knew it wasn’t the most exciting Valentine’s Day present, but it’s certainly one he thought she’d at least enjoy.

“Do you like it?” he asks, although it feels a little useless. At this point in their lives, he can tell when she’s just being nice.

“Of course,” she answers, taking it from his hands. She steps off of the last stair, then, and turns to head toward the kitchen. Over her shoulder she says, “You must’ve gone through some trouble to find this.”

He thinks of driving around all week, looking for it in each liquor store he could think of. He’s lucky he planned it in advance, finally finding it in Seattle the other night. They’d agreed on no gifts this year, finding the compulsory element of Valentine’s Day robbing the spontaneity of romance, but honestly? Cassian couldn’t help himself. He follows her into the kitchen and says, “Not too much trouble.”

“I don’t believe you,” she answers, and sets it on the counter. She levels him with a look. “It’s really special, thank you.”

He glances at the label. They’ve shared this kind of wine before, it was on their honeymoon, and apparently it was a bad season for grapes. Less than a thousand bottles were produced at the time, and he and Jyn, wildly enough, loved it. It’s one of those things he’ll always remember, Jyn smiling at him over the rim of her glass, his _wife_ , finally. It’ll be nice to relive a little bit of that feeling.

“You’re welcome,” he says. “How about we pour some glasses before I get dinner started?”

Curiously, Jyn hesitates. Her brows draw together and she doesn’t meet his gaze. Cassian feels a deep seed of concern planted in his chest. It’s unusual for her not to speak her mind, and he doesn’t know what to make of it.

She seems to think about it, though, and her expression changes into something more open. Instead of answering him, she suggests, “Maybe we could drive to the beach, first. It’d be nice to take a walk, and I’m sure Sadie would love it.”

“You’re not hungry?” he asks.

Jyn just shrugs. “I can wait.”

There’s something clearly on her mind, so Cassian leaves it alone, agreeing to her plan. They grab their coats and scarves and hats and bundle up by the front door. Cassian fishes his keys from his pocket and together they head to his truck while Sadie runs off ahead of them, excitedly wagging her tail.

For a February evening it’s rather mild out, but the misty air feels frozen as it sticks to their clothes and their skin, making Jyn’s hair look wet even in the short time it takes for them to walk to the truck and pack themselves in. Sadie settles happily in the backseat, her long pink tongue hanging out of her mouth while she pants, and Cassian throws a glance over at Jyn in the passenger side.

“You okay?” he asks, and to his surprise Jyn doesn’t reassure him.

She lifts up one shoulder as though she’s neither agreeing or disagreeing with him. She reaches forward to the radio and turns it on, saying, “We’ll see.”

Familiar songs play as they make the short drive down to the beach. It’s one of his favorite things, watching the pine trees thin and the horizon approach. The whole sky opens up, grey blue and wide, wide, wide. The whole world feels empty here--a strange mixture of losing the light behind the clouds and the vast, open space before them.

He reaches for her hand once they’ve parked the truck, and together they kick up the sand as they follow the path through the dunes and onto the beach. The air is salty and sweet, and Sadie barks as she runs off ahead of them.

Tangled fingers, dark blue waves, and the sand like snow as they pass over it--their bodies sway closer together as they walk.

They walk in relative quiet down the shoreline, and Cassian can feel his teeth start to chatter before he decides to take a seat in the sand. Jyn follows suit, and he pulls her legs over his lap, letting her curl up against his shoulder.

He looks down at her and she looks up at him. The wind pushes her hair into her face and he automatically reaches to brush it away, smiling. In this light her green eyes look paler, cold like the winter. His hand stays on her smooth skin, cold against warm, and he can’t help himself. “I love you,” he says.

“I love you too,” she murmurs before breaking his gaze. He follows it out to the sea, where Sadie runs against the water rising on the beach, rushing in and out to avoid getting wet. He huffs out a short laugh at the sight, though his other hand finds itself twisted up in Jyn’s coat.

“Hey,” he says, and she turns her attention back to him. Such a familiar face, but still something that warms him up in the cold. “What’s up?”

“I’m--,” she starts, but doesn’t finish. Her lips part but her eyes stray away from his in thought. “I have something to tell you, but...I don’t know. I’m more nervous than I thought I would be.”

“What is it?” he asks, his voice reassuring even though he’s growing worried. “Does it have to do with Valentine’s Day?”

“No,” she answers, turning her head towards his shoulder, essentially hiding her face from him. Her voice comes out muffled when she says, “It’s a big life thing.”

This has Cassian frowning. “You know can tell me anything, anything, anything.”

“I know, it’s just--,” and she hesitates before pulling back and looking up at him. Her skin is red from the cold, but she seems steady considering. “Just promise me you’ll give me your most honest reaction.”

“I promise,” he says, and watches as she pulls further from his embrace. She seems to be thinking about it, and Cassian calls on every bit of patience he has to let her do this--whatever it is--on her terms. He’d find himself more amused if he wasn’t so anxious about it. Jyn’s never one to hesitate. She always speaks her mind, she always has the right words to say, so to see her so obviously conflicted, with the milk white sand below them and the crashing waves just a short distance away, it’s a bit jarring.

Eventually she tucks her legs close to her, leaning forward and smoothing out the sand in front of her. She looks to Cassian, raises one brow, and begins to draw ten letters with her index finger. He leans over to watch, and at the addition of each one, finds himself breathing shallower and shallower.  

_I’m_ _pregnant_

“You’re pregnant?” he repeats aloud, his mouth forming the words before his mind can catch up with them.

She wears her anxiety openly on her face now, watching him with her brows drawn together, just waiting for his reaction. Cassian feels himself blink a few times.

“You’re pregnant,” he says again.

“Yeah, and I’m pretty bloody terrified.”

He shakes his head. “We’re having a baby.”

“ _Cassian_ ,” she groans, tilting her head back. “Are you okay?”

 _Okay?_ They’re having a _baby_ . They’re bringing a child into this world--they get to pour so much love into another human being that they’ve made, and this kid is going to grow up and be apart of their lives and poor Sadie is going to be so _jealous_. He’s going to be a dad, how could it not be okay?

“Of course I am,” he says, unashamedly feeling his eyes fill up. Jyn notices--of course--and tilts her head back, giving him the softest grin in the world. He reaches forward. “Come here.”

He pulls her in, kissing her cheek and then her lips, and they kiss for what feels like a long time. It’s like the air has gone still around them and the ocean has frozen over. It’s like they’ve stepped out of time as their lips meet, with so much love and joy and fear mixing between them. When they finally part, her eyes are red rimmed too, and they both look at each other for a breathless moment before dissolving into a laughter that feels a lot like disbelief.

He pulls her in again, hugging her and pressing his lips to her neck. “We’re going to be _parents_ ,” he murmurs against her skin.

When she nods he can feel it, and he looks at her--his whole heart feels so full--and Jyn just grins even as she bursts into tears. He tightens his grip on her, holding her and holding her even as the cold settles over them. There’s the misty sea air, the blurry horizon, and that sound--that wonderful, familiar sound of crashing waves against the shore.

Cassian keeps his mouth against her temple, just to stay there, just to feel her here with him in this moment.

Just to be.


End file.
